You May Need Him
by Tripp3235
Summary: Set in 1938.  Cora has died and upon organizing her mother's things, Mary is reminded of many things.  Has minor spoilers to S2 so be forewarned.   One shot


_Note: My interpretation of Mary Crawley, twenty-five years later, closer to WWII. May contain spoilers to S2 so be forewarned. _

"Mama, do you want Margaret and I to start in Gram's study?"

Mary lifted her eyes towards her elder daughter, Lily. Margaret was standing in the doorway, waiting for an answer and Mary smiled slightly. She was so lucky to have such good daughters, helping her go through her mother's things. "Sure, sweetie, I can finish up here."

Mary watched them leave the room, realizing they were nearly _women_ now. Where had the time gone? She and Matthew's youngest child, Robert was already ten.

_That means Papa has been gone for 10 years, Mary_ reflected. Robert Crawley had died two months before her last child was born, marking the year as bittersweet. That death was especially hard because it was unexpected, but Mary was amazed at how well her mother persevered through it, not that it wasn't difficult for Cora. In the beginning there were moments that Cora's reference to Robert was in the present, not the past, and the realization would result in a momentary pause. In those brief moments, Mary could see the anguish upon her mother's face. As years went on, Mary would come upon her mother, deep in thought, obviously thinking of him, but by the time Mary would realize the cause of Cora's melancholy, her mother would be all smiles. Mary never knew if she should try to let her talk through it, or was this the better way? If Mary suddenly lost Matthew…

Shaking her mind from unwelcome thoughts, Mary went back to the tasks at hand. Cora had died over a week ago, and now that the funeral was past them, she wanted to take go through Dower House and the estate. Matthew had taken over Cora's financial books after Robert's death, so that was already known, but it was for the best if they went through rooms and sorted out what was important and what wasn't. Walking into Dower House since her mother's death, Mary felt strange; she had never liked the idea of her mother living anywhere other than the abbey. But Cora insisted that was the order of life, especially when Matthew became the Earl, and if not followed Violet could very well rise up from the dead if everything wasn't carried out according to plan.

Yet Mary never was able to stop thinking of this house as Granny's. Cora enjoyed taking it over, stating she loved the idea that the children could visit as often as they liked, which they did. But Mary was afraid Cora would become lonely here, Violet had always enjoyed her independence and separation.

Mary moved onto the dresser, taking out items like makeup and hairbrushes, placing them into the box for donation to charity. The servants had offered to help but Mary felt this should be done by family. Matthew offered to help too; he'd helped pack her father's things, but her mother's items seemed to require more privacy.

"Mama?" came a familiar voice.

"Yes, Margaret," Mary answered while continuing to put things away.

"We found these items in this box, Gram apparently kept them. I think you will want them too."

Curious, Mary turned her head to see that her daughter was holding up a few newspapers, though she couldn't read the yellowed pages from across the room, Mary knew at once what it was. Memories flooded the older woman so quickly, she had to sit down. A small inaudible sound escaped her lips.

Concerned, Margaret rushed over to her mother, "Mama? Are you okay? Lily, come quick."

It wasn't a few seconds before Lily was in the room too, and Mary felt herself flush at her extreme reaction. "I'm alright, girls, I just…I haven't seen that paper in a very long time."

Her daughters looked at each other, Lily took the paper from her sister to read it. "I guess she kept it because our cousins had died on it."

Mary smiled at Lily, "I'm sure. They weren't her cousins but Papa's, but their passing had such an impact on all of our lives."

"James was supposed to inherit?" Margaret asked.

"No, dummy, Patrick was. Mama wouldn't have met our Papa had this not happened."

"I was supposed to marry Patrick," Mary said absent-mindedly. She had taken the paper from Lily, who was staring at her mother with mouth parted.

"What? You were engaged before Papa?"

For the first time that day, Mary had an urge to laugh. The children were so used to their parents happy marriage, they were always shocked to discover their road to matrimony was not an easy one. "Yes, I was. Well, it wasn't an official engagement, more of an assumed one, but if he had survived things most certainly would have been different."

Now recovered, Mary stood up, ready to resume her duties when she realized her daughters were staring at her like she had just begun to play a fiddle. Shaking her head, she knew this wasn't the best way to spend the day. "I'm sorry but we don't have time to go down memory lane. We need to get as much organized today as we can."

Turning her back to them, she could feel four eyes continuing to stare at her, but Mary wasn't going to back down. "I mean it. Put the paper on the bed and we'll take it back to the house with us."

"Well, I'm not going to let this go," said Lily, who was clearly retreating, "I want to find out if Papa knew Mama had been engaged."

Margaret replied, "I bet he did. He'll tell us, do you think he was engaged too?"

Mary shook her head. She wondered if she should warn Matthew first, when their daughters got something in their head together, it was difficult to keep them at bay, but such was in life on having children.

After she finished cleaning up the dresser, Mary walked over to the bed to look at the newspaper again. She hadn't known her mother had kept it, but seeing evidence she had, it made perfect sense. Just holding the paper brought back so many memories. Closing her eyes, she could remember standing over her father's shoulder when he first read it, before they knew James and Patrick were victims. Then later, upon hearing the news she could still _feel the emptiness_ she felt back then. It was over 25 years ago and in some ways it felt just like yesterday. But when Mary thought of herself, her own behaviors, it was almost another world.

"How much I've changed," she said out loud. She didn't even know Matthew back then. And when she did find out who the heir to the Grantham estate, she nearly fainted. "What a snob I was back then."

"You still are, my dear."

Mary turned, startled. "Matthew!"

Chuckling, he walked towards her, "Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"You didn't frighten me," Mary said, recovering, "I just…don't like it when my husband decides to pay me an insult."

She purposely turned away to not see him smile, it was contagious and she would not reward him with returning it.

"I didn't insult you, I just spoke the truth."

Now that earned him an icy glare; to counter he rubbed her arm which created sensations she did her best to ignore. He continued, "You are not the same person you were back then, but none of us are. We all…mellow over time."

"Mellow?" She repeated.

"Yes, mellow." Now he leaned in to kiss her quickly on the cheek. Again, she steeled herself against the friction from the brief contact.

Changing the subject, she handed the paper to him. "Well, you need to be prepared for when the girls get a hold of you…"

"I've already seen them," he said, taking the paper. "I told them we will talk about it later; for now they need to do what their mother says."

Softening, Mary nodded, "Well, that's a good boy then. What are you doing here?"

He seemed deep in thought at the paper, Mary knew the article would induce his own trunk of memories. "Matthew?"

"Hmmm? Oh, well, I wanted to check on you. Make sure you were okay. Do whatever I can."

Whatever irritation at his earlier comment washed away at the sweet look he was giving her now. It was strange; he was close to becoming fifty with a few wrinkles and grey hair but somehow looked even more handsome now than he did back then. "I'm fine. Thank you, I wouldn't have gotten through this without you."

"You thank me every day by being just you…" as he paused a familiar twinkle appeared in his eye, "even at your snobbiest."

Before she could stop herself, a snort escaped her lips. Looking at him, he stood triumphantly and she motioned for him to approach.

He took her hand, and brought it to his lips. The warmth from his mouth reverberated down her arm. She stepped into him and sighed while his arms circled round her. When she was in this position, it was easy just to _absorb_ him…, that didn't really make sense but it was how she got through times like these.

"If you two are going to be doing that, then there is no reason you can't talk to us about Patrick!"

Mary and Matthew didn't move, but smiles swept across their faces. Lily never held back. Whispering in her ear, Matthew said, "I think we named her after the wrong flower. She's more like a violet."

Again, Mary snorted, but when pulling away from Matthew, she regained her composure. "No, we will do that later. I'm sure you will want to hear about it in great detail, and I'm not quite up for that today."

"But Mama."

Matthew turned to his daughter and she quickly closed her mouth. While he spoiled his daughters lavishly, there was a line they knew not to cross. "Don't worry, Lily, you will hear all about our previous engagements eventually, just not tonight."

"Engagements?"

"Lily, what did I say?" Matthew's tone was enough for Lily to give up. Mary watched as her husband walked over to one of the boxes, picking it up. "Is this one that should go with us? I can take it downstairs."

She nodded, and he began to walk off but stopped in the doorway. "Oh, and I've got all the paperwork at the house whenever you are ready to go over it for Cora's estate. The will she wrote is fairly straightforward but there are a couple of things I want you to be clear on so you don't have to worry about it later. We don't have to do it tonight though, just when you are up to it. We have some time."

"I knew having a lawyer for a husband would come in handy."

Smiling, he replied, "Especially when one is needed." He walked out.

_Don't quarrel with Matthew._

_Why shouldn't I?_

_Because, one day, you may need him._

Mary blinked back tears as the strong memory came to her. "Oh, Mama, you couldn't have been more right." With that, she got back to work.


End file.
